ECCLESIASTES 3:11 ON 3/11

Have you ever had to pray the most difficult prayer?  It’s the one that begins with, “Lord, change me!”

He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.  – Ecclesiastes 3:11

Often times we get wrapped up in dreams for the future that may or may not come to pass.  I wonder how healthy it is for us to put so much stock in what might not come to pass.  Maybe it’s better to do our best to enjoy today since  the Bible makes it quite clear that we are not promised tomorrow.  God makes everything beautiful in its time – not in our time.

Everything really does happen for a reason.  Just because we don’t understand the reason doesn’t mean that God doesn’t understand and have a plan.  We get hung up on the questions when things aren’t going our way – questions that usually begin with “why” – Why was I born this way?  Why did my mom treat me like that?  Why did I have to be left alone?  Why couldn’t I be a mother?  Why did You have to take my babies?  It’s exhausting.

We have to come to a point where we give up the WHY questions and lift our hands to the sky and declare that God is God.  He is the wise, omnipotent, omnipresent God of the universe who knows everything.  He alone knows how different my life would have been if I had been a mom.  I don’t pretend to know anything.  I have to call a cease-fire on the war with God because it’s a war I can’t win.  To be honest I’m too old and too tired to keep fighting it.  I surrender all – and I mean ALL to God.  The ultimate surrender is when the why questions stop.

It’s clear that beauty, whether it is beauty in thought or beautiful happenings, come from God above.  That brings the first part of the verse closer together.  And once we trust God to be Lord of our life, He definitely puts the desire in us to know Him better.

How do we know God better?  It’s not complicated.  Read God’s Word, the Holy Bible, and talk with God.  Pray to Him and make sure you listen for His answers.  Don’t be angry if you don’t understand His answers.  Just raise your hands and tell God that He is God – and you are not.

Remember that while we are focused on the external, God is focused on the internal.  While we see today, He is working on eternity.  We focus on the gift bag and He focuses on the gift inside.  He makes all things beautiful in His time – including the losses, the brokenness, the battles, the fragmented dreams, lost romance, heartache and chronic illness.

Without Him, life is purposeless and profitless, miserable and meaningless. With Him, it will ultimately make sense.  🙂

WORLDWIDE CANDLELIGHTING DAY

 

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. – Psalm 23:4

This is WORLDWIDE CANDLELIGHTING DAY, a day that unites families and friends in lighting candles for one hour to honor the memories of the young loved ones who left too soon.  It costs very little, yet means so much to the families who have been torn apart by violence in this world.

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.  – From a headstone in Ireland

Plan to light a candle to support these grieving families left behind to pick up the pieces.  We’ll light candles at 7:00 p.m. local time and say a prayer for those suffering loss.  This is the 18th annual Worldwide Candle Lighting, a gift to the bereavement community from The Compassionate Friends.

In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing.  – Robert Ingersoll

Hundreds of formal candle lighting events are held and thousands of informal candle lightings are conducted in homes as families gather in quiet remembrance of children who have died, but will never be forgotten.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.  – Khalil Gibran

The Compassionate Friends and associated organizations are joined by local bereavement groups, churches, funeral homes, hospitals, children’s gardens, schools, cemeteries and community centers.  Services have ranged in size from just a few people to nearly a thousand.

 A human life is a story told by God.  – Hans Christian Andersen

Every year you are invited to post a message in the Remembrance Book which will be available, during the event, at The Compassionate Friend’s national website  www.compassionatefriends.org

Although it’s difficult today to see beyond the sorrow,
May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow.
– Author Unknown

When our precious children are mourning they need for adults to be close at hand, but at times they need some solitude as well.

Children especially need solitude.  Solitude is the precondition for having a conversation with yourself.  This capacity to be with yourself and discover yourself is the bedrock of development.  – Sherry Turkle, PhD, sociologist

Since we can’t hug our friends, we will light a candle for them in honor of their lost loved ones today.  ❤

If you are looking for a perfect Christmas gift, may I suggest a new devotional book by Lucinda Berry Hill?  Everyone needs a new devotional book to begin the new year!

Click on the link below to order your copy!

http://bookstore.westbowpress.com/Products/SKU-000952694/A-Second-Cup-with-Jesus.aspx 

PRO-LIFE DAY OF SILENT SOLIDARITY

If you met a pregnant woman who was considering abortion, what would you say to her?  While I would not want to judge her in any way because I am not walking in her shoes, I would like to be compassionate and kind as I listened.  I want to help her sort through the lie of the world and the truth of God’s Word.

I believe in families.  God had a good idea when He came up with that concept.  To accept abortion as an alternative is sad because it is basically embracing failure.  I know you think you will just get rid of the baby (the “problem”) and go on with your life, but it’s really not that easy.  That fetus is a part of you.  Please don’t buy into the lie that once the baby is aborted, life will just pick up where it left off.

It’s bad enough to miscarry a baby – believe me.  I think about those babies every day.  I know how old they would be and I know that now I would surely be a grandma.  But no…  it just was not meant to be.

Maybe I feel so strongly about Pro-Life because of the losses I’ve suffered.  I don’t understand why a woman would CHOOSE to kill a fetus (which is a life – because life begins at conception).  I’m sorry but according to God’s Word it is murder.  Last time I looked, that was listed in the Ten Commandments.  And no, I am not going to preach to the pregnant woman considering abortion.  I just want her to know all the facts.  To take a Pro-Choice stand is to be very selfish.  Whose life are you ending and whose life are you saving?  Life is a big deal to God – the biggest of deals!

I do not hate you for weighing your options.  I do pray for you and for the life you have been blessed with.  There is a lie in the Pro-Choice camp that wants you to see this as a choice for freedom.  If you kill this child, you will be tighter bound than ever.  It’s a choice that will haunt you for the rest of your life.  That’s not a lie – that is the real truth.

Have your baby.  Please consider adoption.  Let another couple raise and give that baby everything that you are not prepared to give it.  Adoption is LOVE.  Abortion is HATE.

I’m so thankful my birth mom chose ADOPTION.  May God help you choose LIFE for your baby.  ❤

I WILL MISS YOU…

I want to add my small voice to the millions who are in shock and mourning the loss of Robin Williams. He brought laughter and joy to so many, including me.

He didn’t know me, but I felt as though I knew him. After all, I never missed an episode of “Mork & Mindy”.

It seemed as though Mork from Ork was the kind of alien you could just walk up to and hug like a great big teddy bear!

His career was fantastic and he surprised me when he began playing more dramatic roles. I was blown away by “What Dreams May Come”.

You know, the “expert” bloggers tell us that a blog post that is less than 300 words is not much of a post. I beg to disagree with that assessment. Sometimes a subject needs to be talked about less and felt more. This is one of those times.

I’ve enjoyed watching the many tributes on facebook. There will be more posted as time passes. My thoughts and prayers are with the family.

I will miss my friend. I know you will too. ❤

I WILL MISS YOU…

The comedic genius of Chonda Pierce has entertained and enlightened people for the last couple of decades. When my mother died in 2004, it was Chonda’s comedy that helped me get out of my “grief funk” and decide that life may be worth living after all.

Since that time I wanted to find a way to thank her. Obviously I told everyone I know about her and encouraged them to buy tickets and see shows. But I wanted to thank her personally. I know it sounds very strange, but I’m serious about that tape helping me get back into life.

Well, as God always does, HE made a way where I never dreamed there would be a way! Chonda Pierce has a facebook page. I have tried to pluck up the courage to say something to her – I mean it’s not TEAM CHONDA that posts… it’s really HER! She posts on her on facebook page! So, I’m a little shy.

Stop laughing… I am too shy. Speaking of SPANX… oh, weren’t we?

Today I read one post on her facebook page – DAVID WENT HOME. My heart sank. I’ve prayed for Chonda because they were married forever and knew each other since she was 16 years old! I mean, that’s not a love that you just get over. I asked God what I could do and He gave me these words to write.

Being kind in any way that God directs is the right thing to do. I hope in some small way this little poem helps. She helped me so much when I was grieving. She continues to help me. Does she know it? Well, no, but God knows!

In a former life I had one of those “tithe” jars too. My mom never showed up though – too funny! Let’s send up a few prayers for this sweet lady, ok? ❤

A COMMENTARY FROM THE HEART

Have you ever felt the need to hide things from God? I have. It’s futile and useless to try because let’s face it – He is God and He does know! Sometimes I approach the throne of God in much the same way I enter a church building:

SMILES, EVERYONE… SMILES!!! – Mr. Rourke (Fantasy Island)

You know, the truth is, there is nobody we can be more “real” with than God. God knows us better than we know ourselves. He made us and is aware of our weaknesses and shortcomings. We are always to strive to be more like Jesus, but God knows we are human and will be until the day we die. He made us to commune with Him and fellowship with Him – to worship Him. Jesus died as a sacrifice so we could have a relationship with God, through Him.

Tell God what’s on your heart and mind.  Don’t keep sweeping the pain under the rug – or scooping more ice cream into your bowl.  I know it sounds silly to want to hide my feelings from God, but for years that’s exactly what I did.  If I just ate then the pain would leave – but that is a short-term fix. It also wrecked my health and I’m in a mess with type 2 diabetes as well.

Being angry at God is not cool – but I was. I was mad at God because I saw the most irresponsible couples have babies, yet I was not allowed to have one. Isolated and jealous of parents everywhere, I sat and ate all day. Eventually I decided to go back to work, but I kept food at my desk. I was still trying to make myself feel better. Did it work? No.

If you have feelings of anger toward God, tell Him. He can take it! God loves us so much and if we would just stop being scared of making God mad at us, we would save ourselves a lot of unnecessary heartache and health problems in life. ❤

I STILL BELIEVE AS I GRIEVE

Clifford loved Barney – and who could blame him?  Barney is big and purple and – a dinosaur who sings in perfect pitch.  Okay…  maybe I exaggerated the last part a teeny bit.

Little Clifford rode the church bus every Sunday. We met him when he was just 4 years old. He and his older sister, Betty, warmed our hearts and lives for two short years.

I sat with their mother in the hospital if one of the kids was in surgery. Many days I got to enjoy the kids while their mom got a break. I referred to that as my “kid fix” and didn’t mind in the least.

It’s no secret that we would have adopted those kids in a heartbeat. Of course that wasn’t going to happen because their mom was enjoying a nice fat check from the state for having them. That’s how it works, sadly. I don’t think she spent much on them really. She may have fed them, but their clothing was from the thrift store and she skated on the most thin ice she could where their care was concerned. I wish we could have taken them. But it wasn’t meant to be. We borrowed them for a while then had to return them.

Then the mom met a guy and they moved to another city in Kansas. We were heartbroken. Just like that the rug was pulled out from under us. We had to say goodbye and it was one of the worst days of our lives – or so I thought.

I was upstairs folding laundry after a long day at work. My husband was watching the local news downstairs in the basement. Life went on as usual until I heard my husband yell up the stairs, “Clifford died in a fire!” Those five words threw me for a loop. Apparently his Barney lamp was faulty and set the house on fire.

The “what-if’s” and second guessing began. What if we had pushed to adopt them? Would this tragedy have been avoided? That kind of thinking will make you crazy! I had a long talk with God about things. That baby was only seven years old. His life cut short by such a horrible accident.

I pray for Betty every day. According to the news report, she tried to go in and save her little brother. What guilt she must live with. She did her very best. I hope she is alright and finds peace. Clifford is with Jesus. There’s no better place to be. ❤

IRON SHARPENS IRON… FRIENDSHIP

Today is my birthday, but all I can think about is my friend who did not get to celebrate his this year. One of my type 1 diabetic friends passed away not long ago. I wrote this poem for his lovely lady, Dawn. Even though I never got to meet him, he was my friend because we talked so often on facebook. I’m part of the DOC (Diabetic Online Community) and we form some great friendships. Unfortunately, it’s because we are all diabetic, but at least we don’t feel like we are fighting the battle alone.

It’s not often I get to stand on the sidelines and watch a romance grow, but that is literally what happened with these two. I’d read little things that would make me wonder what the “deal” was, but I just sat silently. I didn’t ask questions from either of them (and I think I showed great restraint, even if I say so myself)!

We had conversations about loved ones who have gone on. I shared about my experiences with the grieving process in a blog post one day and he wrote to me and let me know he really enjoyed reading about that. He told me he really missed his mom a lot and didn’t think he could ever write about her like I did. Well, I said what I always say – we all grieve differently. Some can’t talk about their loved ones at all, and people like me just can’t seem to shut up about them. I write about my loved ones who have passed over because I need to keep them close to me in spirit. I’m afraid if I don’t tell these stories, I’ll forget them.

I will miss our chats. I did not meet him in person, but there is a void in my day. I pray for Dawn every day. I know life will not ever be the same. There will have to be a new normal now. But, I’m so glad you had him in your life for a little while. God be with you, my friend.  🙂

THANKS LIVING DAY 19

When I was a kid, my friends used to give me a hard time about being an only child. They said things like, “You’ve really got it made ‘cuz you don’t have brothers and sisters!” Well that was true in part. Later in life, however, the other shoe eventually dropped.

Having to face the loss of a loved one all alone is probably the most difficult challenge I ever had to tackle. It was tough enough to think about not getting to talk with them anymore for a while, but when I thought about all the prayers they said for me throughout my life – and now – silence. I honestly did not think anyone would ever love me enough to pray for me again. Some of you may think that is silly, but I’m a Christian and that’s what we do – we pray for each other.

I took my concerns to God. I was honest with Him (hey, He’s God – you may as well lay it all out there!) He gave me a peace and a reassurance that I had been prayed for by others. He put little signs and indications before me that let me know I was still loved and cared for.

Later, after the funeral was over and the shock wore off, people did not come around as much. Once again I felt un-prayed for. I asked God about it. That same day I received a card in the mail from a friend. It said, “God laid you on my heart and I prayed for you.” I cried. Not only was she obedient to pray for me, but she took the time to let me know she prayed for me!

I learned a lesson that day. We not only need to pray for people – we also need to let them KNOW we are praying for them. It’s important. It matters. I’ve been guilty of praying for people without letting them know. It takes such a short time to let a person know you are praying for them – especially if you can just shoot an email to them.

And if you think you’re all alone and nobody is praying for you…  think again.  Christ Himself prays for you!

Thank You, Lord, for my friends who pray for me every day! I feel those prayers! Please help me to be a good friend and pray for them as well – and to let them know I’m praying for them! ❤

THANKS LIVING DAY 16

Why is it so much more difficult to console and comfort a person who is not a Christian? Today I heard the most heart-wrenching statement from a friend who lost a loved one. “It is just so much fun to go through this alone.” My heart aches for my friend. I wish my Jesus was my friend’s Jesus too.  – Linda Palmer

This is not a time that I would be pushy or argue the case for Christ. I just want to be there for my friend and pray for the family whether they want my prayers or not. Isn’t that the wonderful thing about being a Christian? No matter how much the non-believers try to make us shut up, they can never stop us from praying! Prayer is a simple matter of thinking a conversation and waiting for the answer from God. It’s beyond anyone’s control because it is just between me and my God and my Savior, Jesus Christ.

I’m thankful today that God trusts me to share His Gospel – His Good News – with lost people. I would have felt very much “alone” when my parents died if I had not had my faith in a living Christ who loves me more than I can imagine! If you think I’m crazy for believing, that is certainly fine. I’d rather believe that I have a friend who is closer than a brother than to look around at what I can physically see – and be completely alone!

My friend knows I am here. I am here, praying and waiting – and asking God for the right words to say to her. I do not have the right words to say – but He always does! ❤