FROM MY HEART TO YOURS

tl-from-my-heart-to-yoursFebruary is a rough month for me – I’ll just admit it.  It’s a time when I remember a lot of happy times that I’ll never get back.  My mom’s birthday was the 15th and my dad’s birthday was the 21st – just a week apart!  I always baked a heart-shaped cake for my mom – and put pink or red icing on it with little red-hot candies.  We never had fancy celebrations, but we had each other and that’s what really mattered.  I can’t remember any of the gifts I gave her, but I remember the love in the room while she opened each of them.  ❤

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My dad loved German chocolate cake – and I’m not a baker – so to the boxed cake aisle I’d go to pick up a mix and some icing – although I’m not sure you can call that icing – I suppose it is…  that coconut concoction.  LOL!  Dad’s cake was a simple 9×13 sheet cake – I never made a cake that had to be stacked – I’m practical – and if that puppy had to ride in the car with me – it was going to be a sheet cake!  ❤

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Dad’s Birthday 2-21-85

I have memories recorded on 8mm film – which a few years back I had put on DVD.  There’s no sound, but I can read lips just fine.  I remember every word, even though I can’t hear their voices.  I can’t hear their voices…  but I will hear them again.  I’m not without hope – nope. 

I’ve made a sort of study out of this grief journey.  This blog is one manifestation of my grief experience.  I hope it’s made me more empathetic to others, if nothing else.  When people you love die, you don’t have anywhere for that love to go anymore.  This month I went out to the cemetery and replaced the flowers – but there were no hugs, no smiles, no warm greetings.  Thankfully, there was no snow, or it would have been colder still.  There’s nothing quite so cold and, well, dead…  as a cemetery.  Without faith to sustain, it would appear that it’s all over and there’s no hope.  Ah, but there is faith – there is hope.  I’m not without hope – nope. 

One of these days my Savior will come for me and all who have asked Him into their hearts and lives.  Whether I have the opportunity to live out a full life and die – or get snatched up and fly away…  it really doesn’t matter because I’m going to see Christ face to face.  These memories I hang on to for now…  well, I won’t need those anymore.  I’m not going to pretend to know exactly what lies ahead – but I trust God, through my Savior – and whatever it is…  it’s okay by me.  ❤

Here’s what I do know.  I will see my family again – and it’s going to be great because there will be hugs, smiles, and warm greetings – and we will never have to say good-bye again!  ❤

A Prayer for the Grieving

Lord, please come sit with me today. I need you now as I’m so sad. My heart can’t take much more. Just let me feel again. God, please heal my broken heart. In the quietness, I feel closest to you. Help me to serve others despite the pain. Let peace and love surround all who grieve today, tomorrow and always. I trust you to carry me through this long journey of grief and pain. Thank you for allowing me to share the life of my precious loved one. Please give me comfort in my pain, your love to see me through, and your strength to keep me going. Amen.

When they died, I thought I might too.  But somewhere along the way, the memories took over where the pain was once so raw I thought I couldn’t stand it.  ❤

You know, everyone in school was a bit jealous of me because I was an only child and didn’t have to “share” anything with siblings when I was at home – but let me tell ya…  there’s a flip side to being the only one – it’s lonely when you realize you’re responsible for everything.  I relied so heavily on my parents, not only for moral support, but for spiritual support.  I knew they prayed for me every day.  I miss those prayers so much.  ❤

 

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NATIONAL DAYS OF PRAYER & REMEMBRANCE

TL 9-9 THRU 9-11 NATIONAL DAYS OF PRAYER & REMEMBRANCELet’s pray:

Dear Heavenly Father,
The Bible tells us that You understand what our hearts feel even when we are not able to utter the words that make sense.  We trust that You hear our heavy hearts right now.  We’ve made strides to move on with our lives because we don’t have a choice but to do so, but our country will never be the same.  We lost a little of our ability to trust others.  We lost much of our innocence to be sure.  The impact of that day will be a part of who we are as a nation until the day You return to take Your own to Heaven.  We continue to pray for healing on all levels for the ones who were there that day.  Please keep Your mighty hand on the ones who lost loved ones.  We know that’s a pain that never ceases, even with the passing of time.  Bless the first responders, good Samaritans and those able to lend a hand that day.  We long for real peace more now than ever before.  Lord, please heal our land and restore America as only You can.  Help us to humble ourselves before You and seek Your face as a nation.  We ask all of this in the matchless name of Christ Jesus our Lord and Savior, Amen.

Where to go from here?  We remember…  we pray for those who will grieve losses.  But at some point, we count the crosses along with the gifts we’re given by God.  Lucinda reminds us to Count and Grow.COUNT AND GROW

WE THANK YOU FOR THATIt isn’t easy to be thankful to God when you feel such deep pain and loss, but once you begin to thank Him for the little things…  I guess I should say, the seemingly little things, as they are not – things like waking up, being able to get out of bed, your next breath…  if you can consider that it’s God making all these things possible – and start praising Him for these things…  it’s a start to finding a new normal in your life.  Lucinda writes, “When it is beyond us, You get the glory.”  So, we know that our loss is beyond our control, but when we start to be thankful for things in our own life, God gets the glory.

We can’t do a day by ourselves but we lean on God for help.  And we thank Him for that!  🙂

 

IRON SHARPENS IRON… FRIENDSHIP

TL IRON SHARPENS IRON (2)

I'M SO GLAD I MET YOU

Today is my birthday, but all I can think about is my friend who did not get to celebrate his this year. One of my type 1 diabetic friends passed away not long ago. I wrote this poem for his lovely lady, Dawn. Even though I never got to meet him, he was my friend because we talked so often on facebook. I’m part of the DOC (Diabetic Online Community) and we form some great friendships. Unfortunately, it’s because we are all diabetic, but at least we don’t feel like we are fighting the battle alone.

It’s not often I get to stand on the sidelines and watch a romance grow, but that is literally what happened with these two. I’d read little things that would make me wonder what the “deal” was, but I just sat silently. I didn’t ask questions from either of them (and I think I showed great restraint, even if I say so myself)!

We had conversations about loved ones who have gone on. I shared about my experiences with the grieving process in a blog post one day and he wrote to me and let me know he really enjoyed reading about that. He told me he really missed his mom a lot and didn’t think he could ever write about her like I did. Well, I said what I always say – we all grieve differently. Some can’t talk about their loved ones at all, and people like me just can’t seem to shut up about them. I write about my loved ones who have passed over because I need to keep them close to me in spirit. I’m afraid if I don’t tell these stories, I’ll forget them.

I will miss our chats. I did not meet him in person, but there is a void in my day. I pray for Dawn every day. I know life will not ever be the same. There will have to be a new normal now. But, I’m so glad you had him in your life for a little while. God be with you, my friend.  🙂