I was sitting in the waiting room at my doctor’s office the other day. A million thoughts ran through my mind because it was so quiet except for the sound of a bubbling fish aquarium. I don’t have a cell phone and I won’t touch a magazine in a waiting room because I don’t want to pick up germs. Think of it logically… who goes to the doctor? People who are sick go to the doctor. If they read the magazines in the waiting room and leave germs on them. It’s cold and flu season… ’tis the season… fa la la… need I say more?
So I watched the fish swimming around with not a care in the world. I observed a mother with her small child, an elderly man struggling to walk with a cane, a young woman with her nose stuck in a book she brought with her and a teen scrolling through his phone. I see that a lot in waiting rooms – tweens and teens with their phones.
There were no pleasantries exchanged among us. Have you ever felt lonely in public? It’s a strange sensation that makes you feel as though you’re almost invisible. You know you’re physically in the room, but when you receive no smiles, no nods, no acknowledgement whatsoever, it’s as though you don’t exist. Everyone is so busy with their own task at hand – interacting with a child, moving from point A to point B with a cane, reading or texting on a phone.
Have you ever wondered if you’ve exceeded your SELL BY date??? I mean, really – when we’re children we have such promise and we’re blessed with great eyesight and quick, rhythmic fingers and we set the world on fire. Suddenly, we are two beats behind and wondering what the heck happened!!!
Is there a place for me in life? Would anyone notice if I was not here? Do I have anything to contribute to society that makes a difference to anyone? These are not questions of self-pity or self-loathing, but questions from a heart that desires a sense of purpose.
There is a special place in life that needs my humble skill,
A certain job I’m meant to do which no one else can fulfill.
The time will be demanding, and the pay is not too good.
And yet I wouldn’t change it for a moment – even if I could!
There is a special place in life, a goal I must attain,
A dream that I must follow because I won’t be back again.
There is a mark that I must leave, however small it seems to be.
A legacy of love for those who follow after me.
There is a special place in life that only I may share,
A little path that bears my name, awaiting me somewhere.
There is a hand that I must hold, a word that I must say.
A smile that I must give for there are tears to blow away.
There is a special place in life that I was meant to fill.
A sunny spot where flowers grow upon a windy hill.
There’s always a tomorrow and the best is yet to be,
And somewhere in this world, I know there is a place for me.
It seems the older I get, the less useful I become. Some of it is by choice, I admit. I keep remembering when I was twelve years old – how everyone encouraged me to play the piano in church. The church encourages the youth to serve and make the older people feel unnecessary in service. I don’t understand. Do we not need to feel useful as we age? Do we not need to be encouraged to be a part and serve? I keep hearing that there is not a retirement age in church service. Talk is cheap. It sounds like lip service.
Young people are encouraged and old people are forgotten… left sitting at the sidelines as though they are no longer useful. My fingers are arthritic and my eyes can’t tell a natural sign from a sharp anymore, but it’s my prayer that God will find something for me to do for Him. For now He seems to want me to write. I will do what I’m able to do. I will continue to write until He tells me to stop.
Of course, I can pray – I will always pray. If I can’t be on the front lines anymore, I can sit on the sidelines and watch… and pray!
God has a wonderful plan for your life – and mine. May we seek His will and way this year! 🙂