Nobody writes poetry from the heart like Lucinda Berry Hill. I’m blessed to call her my friend. God brought us together as writers and sisters in Christ. It was not until later in our friendship we discovered we have more in common. We both experienced abuse in past relationships. We want to come together today and not only tell our stories, but encourage those who are in an abusive relationship to get out of it. God loves you so much. You are important to Him. You are His precious child.
Lucinda is speaking out. She begins by saying, “Lately there’s a lot of talk about domestic violence. Football players are being found out and female celebrities are sharing their stories.” She continues on a more personal note. “So let me say, I too have been subjected to domestic violence for 8 long years. I used to say I could write a Stephan King novel with all that has happened to me. But now I write about God’s mercy, power, and His love.”
Shine in the midst of your troubles, proclaiming that God is able. – Judy Janowski
Hey, it’s me – Linda. My questions are simple: Why do abusers feel no shame? Why does society not hold them accountable for what they’ve done? Where is the outrage? Did it take a video in an elevator to make everyone speak up?
You know, abuse comes in a lot of forms. We think of domestic violence right away, with scars on the outside, but there’s an abuse called mental cruelty. It made me afraid to speak because I knew I would be shot down. It gave me a knot so big and tight in the pit of my stomach, I thought I might die from it. I second-guessed every little thing I did because he will surely find fault with it if I didn’t. Even if I did double-check what I did, it would still be wrong. Then I decided to do nothing and be quiet. It made me feel lonely and hurt – and I cried – a lot. I continued to do nothing because it’s never good enough. I felt paralyzed and stayed hunkered down and quiet because I never said the right thing. Pretty soon you developed an attitude that said, “I don’t care anymore – he’s going to shoot down whatever I do or say anyway, so who cares?”
Deep down I did care – and I knew I did. I just didn’t know what to do about it. I just craved – and I do mean CRAVED (there’s just no other word for it) a compliment, a smile, a hug, some positive affirmation from him. It never happened, but I kept hoping it would. I told myself, “That’s just not the way he shows his love for me. He shows love in different ways.” That’s the lie that got me through the days, weeks, months, years. Some days it worked. Some days it didn’t work. Some days I played Bejeweled 2 just so I could hear the words GOOD and EXCELLENT – the strong, booming voice on the game told me I was doing well. At least I knew I was good at something. Sometimes that was the closest thing to a compliment I got all day.
If you are a man and you abuse a woman, know this: God sees what you do whether other people see it or not. He counts that woman’s tears and keeps them in a bottle. He cries with her and holds her in the palm of His mighty hand. He will always protect her and you, my friend, are in big trouble. Think before you tear a woman down mentally or abuse her physically. You will have God to reckon with! You’d better think about how you will justify that behavior with Him. He won’t believe just any excuse you come up with.
Today is INTERNATIONAL DAY OF NON-VIOLENCE. It must stop. It needs to stop – now. ❤ If you abuse your significant other, be prepared to walk away, learn from your mistakes, get help, change your ways and start over. No one will take you back having been abused by you. If you get an opportunity to love again, make sure it is love. Don’t mess it up. A relationship is a precious gift from God.
If you are the victim of abuse, read this:
Become a Lake
An aging master grew tired of his apprentice’s complaints. One morning, he sent him to get some salt. When the apprentice returned, the master told him to mix a handful of salt in a glass of water and then drink it.
“How does it taste?” the master asked.
“Bitter,” said the apprentice.…
The master chuckled and then asked the young man to take the same handful of salt and put it in the lake. The two walked in silence to the nearby lake and once the apprentice swirled his handful of salt in the water, the old man said, “Now drink from the lake.”
As the water dripped down the young man’s chin, the master asked, “How does it taste?”
“Fresh,” remarked the apprentice.
“Do you taste the salt?” asked the master.
“No,” said the young man. At this the master sat beside this serious young man, and explained softly,
“The pain of life is pure salt; no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains exactly the same. However, the amount of bitterness we taste depends on the container we put the pain in. So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things. Stop being a glass. Become a lake.”